There is a stand off
between my body
& the state police

I’ve been bleeding 
out my ass
for two days or so
the books & I 
we don’t think it’s a hemorrhoid
but maybe something more insidious
maybe just a hiccup

when I walk out the front door 
the day greets me
with a gentle heat
draws cold beads of sweat from my brow
when I walk out the front door 
it is slow like an old man
trying to get some distance from his life 
though I’m not going anywhere
just sit in the car with the radio on
I’m too weak 
bleeding like this for two days now 

when I walk out the front door 
I try to keep my head up
& look 
but it’s different than easy
if there’s anybody in a car 
parked on the street 
it’s the state police
& they are having a standoff
with my body
to see who will get me