for the lost ones fugitive in the human realm
 

Know that 
you won't find truth
in extremes
at first
there may seem 
a taste of substance,
you'll learn that to be passing.
This is a world of balance 
& such are the functions
of those actions. 
no, 
there may not be 
much worth
down that road 
but lord knows
you'll give it
some time

It is not for lack of purpose
you can fumble 
with long nights
all you want
only to find they turn around 
much the same
muddled on the other end
you can spend all day
with varnish
& never work out
the shine 
just right

you may find truth
some integrity in the divine
should you look 
To the whole of it

There will come a day
when the pleasures of the temporal 
find you stale
to their effect
& you may feel 
the gut
a special kind of hollow then
there are many paths
from this place
& after all consideration 
the same shoes beneath your feet
when you fall
back to me 

Know that the obsession
with process
Does not translate its seeming effect 
to that which you ascribe
purpose, 
value
these are absent any direction
I may offer
there are no maps 
to lead you 
to love 
to equanimity with hours passing
to your death
to your home
it is of your choosing
these days

awe at women
drink poetry to sleep
wander brick avenues with quicksand legs
eat well from the plate with silver inlay 
leer at bums
sink into old masters
but only 
by time
will you learn 
what you've come for

should direction
be needed
& the human realm 
does not 
find you well
turn back 
to the world
for which you were born
it would be wise
to listen 
to your gut
it would likely be
your best option

this life 
we partake in
can be measured 
in hours
dollars
pounds
to move about 
a fugitive in the body
requires little 
of the external
it lies with the distinction therein
there's enough
in any mans head
to paint life
in err
to paint the self 
a noxious red 

There's enough suffering 
in any moment 
to break ones will
but
why not
turn the sidewalks 
seagull feathers 
& time to sloping hills
let the elephants circle down 
from the heavens 
ride the last ferris wheel to the peak 

at dawn you will learn of loss
hidden in a sweet tasting 
memory
& we try
to instruct
to tell you where
to turn
instinct prods at your sides
in the stark afternoon sun 
& the river foaming up reaches out for you
the soil tries to keep you around
the birds swing patterns familiar
small delicate flowers throw their lures

but on the other side
only you will know
how you got there
all it takes 
is perspective 
if anything
don't forget
that

 

You'll see them 
fervent
trying on suffering
adorned shining robes
you'll learn
to love the taste
of grain
of liquor
of pussy
of motor oil
You'll see them fly to the moon
& wonder what it is
you're missing
you'll want for splendor
& look for God
In incandescent bulbs
on sides of highways in overgrowth
at the feet of great masters
in the temples of those who came before
in designer stores
in the halls of thieves
in beautiful women
that listen to you prattle on
& the words from your mouth
will never sit right 
& these things 
may all be found hollow upon you//
you may find years in them

yet

​

& you'll fall backwards 
into comforts
into losing sleep over women
into long nights kept up in hum of electricity
bathed in blue light
shifting in amphetamine beds
that knew you- 
euphoric
cold
swinging glances out the window 
wondering for police,
that knew women
you should've tried to keep around
if only a moment

 

you'll see 
the allure of neon
find joy
in passing 
you'll ignore
the entropy
you'll find warmth 
between solemn nights
in high thoughts
warm friends
& didn't those men 
who learned the stars only by their hands and eyes
didn't they drink heavy? 
didn't they lose hours
to the highway? 

 

I know 
why you must leave this place
I know
if anything 
what it is in you
that tells you to run
& when you taste their spirits
& feel their comforts
you'll wonder
what of your home 
why did you lie in wait
there so long?
& you may find
with time
a loss
settling in
& your friends will seem
in well spirit
though
they know this feeling 
well
they will do as you do
marvel at splendor
warm your breast
with the cruelty of a machine
& worry not 
about those that seem only 
a false memory
of trees & river & dirt

they'll tell you
you can't go back
& why would you

you'll tell them
the same

but so long
as you keep place for it
it will remain
without the burden
of your desire
ignorant
to your 
wealth
to your 
suffering
to the 
name
they call you
by